Sunday, 23 June 2013

When The Music Stops

This week I've had a lot of time on my hands which has led to me thinking, this isn't an everyday occurrence and it tends to have interesting results. This time I got to thinking about musicals, anyone that knows me will know that I’m a massive musicals fan but this time I thought, what if musicals didn't have any music? If the situations that happened in these shows happened in everyday life, without the music the majority would be down right depressing. Several would definitely have a rightful place on the Jeremy Kyle show.

With this in mind I thought about several musicals and gave them Jeremy Kyle style tag lines, here they are…

Starlight Express- It's a musical about trains...

Cats- It's a musical about cats...

 Chess- It's a musical about chess...

 Legally Blonde- Proving that stalking really does pay off.

 Billy Elliot- Spending all our life savings on one boy is ok, just as long as you don't go back to work.

 Chitty Chitty Bang Bang- The original Transformer.

Joseph- Taking sibling rivalry to new extremes.

Mamma Mia- Never read your mother's old diaries.

 Lion King- Never trust a lion with a scar, or with several Hyena minions.

Mary Poppins- Changing health and safety laws with umbrellas forever. 

Several musicals also fall under the category of-

"If you can't look after your children, don't have so many."

The Sound of Music- Thank God for the rogue nun. 

The King and I- At least he has plenty of choice for an heir.

Joseph- Proving that you should never tell your children who your favourite is. 

And then there are those under the category,

"Without the music its almost certainly abduction."

Les Miserables- There is far too much drama and depression for one caption. 

Annie- The first time a ginger was the top choice.

 Oliver- Child labour is acceptable if they are homeless.

That's all I have for now, but as a massive musicals geek I really enjoyed writing this and thinking all of these up. I will probably write another blog post about my love for musicals some time in the near future as there are several shows I have missed off this list! If you enjoyed this feel free to leave a comment with any more Jeremy Kyle musical situations or give me a tweet here

Monday, 10 June 2013

And So It Begins

From July 9th I am going to be travelling across Europe for 22 days, I’m sure it doesn’t matter too much that I have the geographical knowledge of a confused goldfish, give me a map and I can just about point out where the UK is if I’m given enough time. Luckily for me (and probably unluckily for them) I have Karl and Dan to turn me around when I think East is West and Budapest is in Germany (I’m also not quite sure where Budapest actually is.)

Lucky Boys
I am however much better at knowing where places are thanks to several episodes of the TV program pointless, as well as now knowing that the Christ Redeemer is not the Angel of the North I also know that the Central African Republic is the answer to most of life’s questions. But I don’t expect that to help me since last time I checked the Central African Republic isn’t in the Eurovision Song Contest (my point of reference for the countries of Europe.)
                                  They do look very similar if you ask me.

I started the incompetence early whilst booking my plane to Krakow, apparently it’s not reasonable to think that railcards work on planes, I was under the uncommon misconception that the cards work on all forms of transport, I guess the “rail” part should have been my first clue.

Buying a plane ticket should be quite simple but not with Ryanair, the annoying relative of all of the airlines. I spent a good five minutes trying to work out why I was being charged more for travel insurance which I did not want. An exasperated Karl on the phone telling me to tick the box did not help, especially when there was no box to tick. Eventually after restarting the whole process I got past the seemingly endless torture of booking my first plane ticket. I guess I will find out where I went terribly wrong when I end up on a flight to Syria.

I think that’s all I have to ramble about at the moment, but I will be back with more updates soon, probably about how not to pack for 22 days in several foreign Countries.